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about

I actually met George Takei when he was the Media guest at Archon 28 (Archon is the St Louis SF convention which I am on the committee for). Unfortunately, I hadn't quite finished this song at that time, so no, he's never heard it. Oh, well...

lyrics

Sulu's lament
music: Mark Knopfler
lyrics: G Hanak
TTO: The Man's Too Strong
(Dire Straits)
(for George Takei as Media GoH at Archon 28)

Oh I am an aging helmsman, and in a series I did play
And I've hung around through many a syndication
Now they say I am a celebrity, and conventions pay the way
But here's the real situation

I have worked for Rodenberry, I have worked for The Mouse
A Lieutenant, and a Captain, and a ghost in a Chinese house
I have flown a Klingon starship and a Huey from 'Frisco
Controls for both--kinda confusing
( Activating ground chase ...
...swish, swish...shish, shish...
...That's not ground chase radar...wait a minute...
... swish, swish... )
and reading Klingon's hard, and slow

Now William, won't you listen, and please don't take it wrong...
My part's too small, and yours too long

I could have been a fencer with saber or epee,
Once I chased Jim down a corridor, but he managed to get away
If I could just have caught him, how much different would things be
Bill would still be "T.J. Hooker", and the captain would be me

Oh people, please don't blame me if the writers got it wrong
My part too small, and Bill's too long

The big guard was a bruiser, and I swear I heard him say
"You got a problem, Tiny?"--it almost ruined my day
Our crowd came out the doorway, and he tried to block our path
But before he knew what happened, I flipped him on his ass

I said "Don't call me Tiny, for I have been wronged--
My part's too small, and Bill's too long"

credits

from Delusions of Adequacy, track released September 29, 2004
All vocals and instrumentation by Gary "MoFilker" Hanak.

This song is parodied under the Fair Use provisions of 17 U.S. Code § 107. The original owners of the music retain all rights. No challenge to copyright is intended, nor should any such challenge be construed.

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Gary "MoFilker" Hanak image

Gary "MoFilker" Hanak St. Louis, Missouri

Old person. Sings and plays guitar, piano, bass, accordion, and programs drums, sorta

Writes originals and parodies.
Currently there are four albums out there, with two more as a gleam in the eye.

Filk Hall of Fame awardee, winner of a Pegasus, and an invited music guest in St Louis, San Francisco, Chicago, Toronto, and Columbus. So far.

And, plays around St Louis in the live music scene. ... more

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