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about

This song originated at a 'write a filk song' panel at Archon 22. Steve Macdonald suggested, as a topic, that "OK, that chair gets up and--uh--walks around." Then, we ran through the creative procedures and came up with a (kind of a) blues song.

Later, I got to thinking about this song, and had two thoughts:
a) The only popular character I could think of who could be in this position would be Odo of DS9, and
b) Since this was 'write a filk song' panel idea, it seemed appropriate to change the chorus a little, to encourage more verses.

lyrics

Odo's Blues
Gary Hanak, with help from Steve Macdonald and some Archon 22 people on verse 1 and chorus…
October 1998

Woke up early this afternoon, and the view was not the best
Something large and hairy had plopped on me just to rest
Tried to launch a protest and it came out as a fart
The folks looked at the guy on me, ironically, named Art

I tried again, then Art got up, and I moved back a bit
Which felt O.K. to me, but then Art tried once more to sit
The crash was just phenomenal--and I felt pretty smart
And I took the opportunity to sit my arse on Art

It's hard to be a chair
It's hard to get any air at all down there
And if you think that things could not get worse
Then I suggest that you sit down and you write the next verse

They put me on a steak out--on the job sheet spelled 'a-k-e',
But some wise-ass punster assigned these jobs and, of course, he thought of me
So now I'm sittin' on a plate, with mushrooms on my side
The guy I'm watchin' watchin' me with hunger in his eyes

As a porterhouse there simply isn't much that you can do
So as he picked up his knife and fork, I let out a subtle 'moo...'
He leaped up, knocked a waiter down, and then fell on his face
And I took the opportunity to sit down in his place

It's hard to be a steak
It could even drive a priest to mas--ticate
And if you think that things could not get worse
Then I suggest that you sit down and you write the next verse

I pulled duty at a building site, disguised as a commode
And suddenly some guy walks in, prepared to drop a load
Now, I'd made an "OUT OF ORDER" on my outside plain as day
So as he turns to sit I quickly slip the other way

I didn't want to do it, that's how my career, it came undone
But hey--he either lays there bare-butt or I get feces on my tongue
It may have been an accident, or he may just have been obtuse
But with my cover blown (and his too!), I just quietly vamoosed

It's hard to be the john
You only catch the tail-end of everything that's goin' on
And if you think that things could not get worse
Then I suggest that you sit down and you write the next verse

"<yawn> ...yeah, it's getting late...
...about time I hit the bucket...
...g'night, all. See you in the mornin'..."

credits

from Weekend Filker, track released October 1, 1998
All vocals and instrumentation by Gary "MoFilker" Hanak

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Gary "MoFilker" Hanak image

Gary "MoFilker" Hanak St. Louis, Missouri

Old person. Sings and plays guitar, piano, bass, accordion, and programs drums, sorta

Writes originals and parodies.
Currently there are four albums out there, with two more as a gleam in the eye.

Filk Hall of Fame awardee, winner of a Pegasus, and an invited music guest in St Louis, San Francisco, Chicago, Toronto, and Columbus. So far.

And, plays around St Louis in the live music scene. ... more

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