I Am Going to Build Myself a Bimbo

from Delusions of Adequacy by Gary "MoFilker" Hanak

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about

Somewhere in the back of my head, the idea for this song lurked. Unfortunately, it escaped...

lyrics

I am Going to Build Myself a Bimbo
Music: Gary Hanak (Main melody, Mandrel verse), Donna Weiss/Jackie DeShannon (Bette Davis Eyes), J. C. Forgety (Proud Mary), James Sanderson (Hail to the Chief), Bette Midler (The Rose), David Rose & His Orchestra (The Stripper)
Lyrics: Gary Hanak

Oh, I am just a scientist, a man of great renown
And when I go to town the dog packs follow me around
Because they know my work provides a bone for every hound
Oh, I am going to build myself a bimbo

Now, Frankenstein and Doc Moreaux, though not as bright as me,
Labored long and hard to build some hairy, great monstrosity
But why not have a little bit of fun with chemistry?
So, I am going to build myself a bimbo

With Harlow's hair of gold
Her lips I'll match to size
And for her outlook on the world
She'll have Bette Davis eyes

And when I get back from the city ("city")
Workin' night and day, I might even beg
I might look peculiar, but I'll have what I wanted
'Cause I'll have the set of Tina's legs

And if you think that her brain will just be wasted
Just remember her brain will be somewhat small and stale
P-O-T-A-T-O-E is how she'll spell potato
That's the best that I can do with the brain of J Dan Quayle

And if you think that she's too homely
I'll make sure she warbles like a wren
And her throat will sing with a voice that only
Could have come from the Divine Miss M

Then I'll take a hand and stitch it on
So that it's soft yet supple
Match the other to it and we'll
Then have quite a couple
I'll dance a little jig to my fiddle playin' gal
With the hands of Barbara Mandrel

And at long last, when my work will be
Done as far as I can see...

I'll be standing nose to nose with my Little Bimbo lass
And I will have my hands all over Brittney Spears young...

...I can't say that...

Oh, I am just a scientist, a man of great renown
And when I go to town the dog packs follow me around
Because they know my work provides a bone for every hound
Oh, I am going to build myself a bimbo

credits

from Delusions of Adequacy, released August 1, 2007
All vocals and instrumentation by Gary "MoFilker" Hanak.

This song is parodied under the Fair Use provisions of 17 U.S. Code § 107. The original owners of the music retain all rights. No challenge to copyright is intended, nor should any such challenge be construed.

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about

Gary "MoFilker" Hanak image

Gary "MoFilker" Hanak St. Louis, Missouri

Old person. Sings and plays guitar, piano, bass, accordion, and programs drums, sorta

Writes originals and parodies.
Currently there are four albums out there, with two more as a gleam in the eye.

Filk Hall of Fame awardee, winner of a Pegasus, and an invited music guest in St Louis, San Francisco, Chicago, Toronto, and Columbus. So far.

And, plays around St Louis in the live music scene. ... more

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