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Enterprise

by Gary "MoFilker" Hanak

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about

CAVEAT -- review the lyrics before playing for young children or easily offended persons. It does involve a reference to bodily functions. I think it's required that all filkers write at least one song in this ilk. I, of course, have two...

That aside, this song is drawn from personal experience. I have, in fact, been on the Enterprise, and wrote this song after spending the week of my 50th birthday doing some work there while it was in port.

According to my notes, I spent the next ten years massaging and refining it. (The song, not the ship. Or the work.) To be fair, it's been seven years since then and I massaged it a bit more before putting it out there now. It doesn't show, but that's how it happened. Like I've said, not prolific...

I also sent a request to BandCamp for some guidance as to the song content, but nothing could be louder than the absence of a response I got from that query. So, with the idea that it's not really THAT bad, I hereby go for broke and put it out there. If it subsequently disappears, you'll know why.

lyrics

title: Enterprise
composer: Gary "MoFilker" Hanak
key: C
(done in G on the baritone)

vs1:
Before Picard did stride so boldly
To that Captain's chair
Before Wil Riker dressed his one piece,
Or Jean-Luc lost his hair
Before those sacred halls by Kirk or
Archer's feet were trod
(But after George and Gracie left
To say "Hi!" to a Pod)

vs2:
I walked the decks of the Enterprise
Above and down below
Though they kept me from the engines
So I wouldn't start to glow
But I've done that which future histories
Always seem to miss
I've been aboard the Enterprise
And while there, I took a piss

( And that phrasing has always kinda bothered me, because
I actually didn't TAKE it it anywhere...not that I ever have...
I could say I dropped it off, but that would involve
the number 'two', and we won't go there. Pun intended... )

ch1:
Yes, I've been aboard the Enterprise
And yes, I had to pee
Not too exciting, normally
But it left its mark on me

( ...no, not where you're thinking... )

In the future it may be that
They no longer use the head
But now they do, as well I know
Deck seven, to the left

vs3:
Not once in Star Trek's saga did one
Hear latrines get mention
In fact, despite Gene's dictum
We heard more about detention
At no time did we note a crewman
Head off to the head
The uniforms were far more form
Than function in that stead

ch2:
But I've been aboard the Enterprise
And there, I had to piss
There comes a time for one and all
No one escapes this
In the future it may be that
They no longer use the head
But now they do, as well I know
Deck seven, to the left

vs4:
Never saw the Tiberius quick-step
Or the undersides of stalls
Never heard the sounds of flushing
While wandering the halls
Never saw the ladies leave en masse
Or standing in long lines
Or carts chock full of toiletries
And those folding "Caution" signs...

( What is that in Klingon, anyway?
Does Klingon even have a word for 'caution'?
Maybe 'Hoch tul lon'? )

ch3:
But I've been aboard the Enterprise
And facilities exist
May not be mentioned by intention
But they're there--the crew insists
In the future it may be that
They no longer use the head
But now they do, as well I know
Deck seven, to the left

reprise:
To take a leak, head downward
Deck seven, to the left.

credits

released April 23, 2020
All vocals and instrumentation by Gary "MoFilker" Hanak

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Gary "MoFilker" Hanak St. Louis, Missouri

Old person. Sings and plays guitar, piano, bass, accordion, and programs drums, sorta

Writes originals and parodies.
Currently there are four albums out there, with two more as a gleam in the eye.

Filk Hall of Fame awardee, winner of a Pegasus, and an invited music guest in St Louis, San Francisco, Chicago, Toronto, and Columbus. So far.

And, plays around St Louis in the live music scene.
... more

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